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Q: I thought I have a “SMART PHONE” (iPhone 3GS) but most of the Notes I had in my yellow note pad disappeared over night. I had been using some of the stored notes to send as e-mails from time to time. They all vanished except for 12 of my older notes. What happened and where did they go? No help at the AT&T store. Called Apple and they won’t do anything unless I pay them money. HELP!!!!!

– Bill W.
Miramar Beach, Florida

A: How much money?  Whoops – I mean – sure, I’ll try to help!  Assuming you didn’t actually delete them, this sounds like a simple matter of determining where your Notes are being backed up.  It seems like a fairly common problem for people to enable synching with Outlook, and then discover their notes are “disappearing” when they’re actually being moved to their e-mail program.  So first, on the phone, go to Settings, then click on Notes, and look at “Default Account” to see where Notes are being backed up.  If they’re being backed up to the cloud, they should automatically be on any iDevice that you have syncing with that iCloud account, and they should come back on their own.  If, as I suspect, you are syncing with e-mail, go to the computer where you sync your phone and look at the default e-mail reader.  Look at the directory tree, and you should see a tab labeled “Notes” which will contain all your missing yellow sheets.  If none of the above works, you might have to resort to restoring your latest backup.  You DO have a recent backup, don’t you?

Bonus Web-only Content: In honor of International Talk Like a Pirate Day, which was this past Wednesday, I took the liberty of translating this week’s column into “Piratese” using the free translator available at talklikeapirate.com/translator.html.  The translation is not perfect, but is fun nonetheless.  Please take note of the translations for words like “backup” and “password”.

Now, without further ado, here is It’s Geek To Me Issue #322 – Pirate Edition.

Q: Me scheduled tasks do not run. In lookin’ at t’ scheduled task, t’ Status be listed as “Could not start.”Last Result, “0x0.” Creator “Administrator.” When I created t’ task “RUTHIE\Administrator” was t’ user name entered. Then I entered a pascutlas which I don’t use anywhere else. In other words, I don’t use a pascutlas t’ sign on. When I click on Finish t’ complete t’ schedulin’ I receive t’ followin’ error message. “T’ new task has been created, but may not run because t’ account information could not be set. T’ specific error is: 0x80070005: Access be denied. Try usin’ t’ Task page Browse button t’ locate t’ application.”

– Gwen B.
Santa Rosa Beach, Florida

A: Oh, ouch, Gwen! You’re violatin’ at least two o’ T’ Geek’s Rules t’ Better and Safer Computin’™. First, you’re runnin’ your computer usin’ t’ Administrator account, which gives any malware that manages t’ slip past t’ system’s defense perimeter t’ maximum possible privileges under which t’ install itself. Tsk, tsk, tsk! Second, you’re runnin’ that way without a pascutlas.  That gives any person who manages t’ access your machine (physically or electronically) free access t’ t’ entirety o’ your system, without so much as a “Halt! Who goes thar?” But I can only suggest so strongly, and then I have t’ resign meself t’ t’ fact that people be goin’ t’ do what they’re goin’ t’ do regardless o’ me ministrations. So, I’ll stop naggin’ you now, and work on helpin’ with t’ problem you actually wrote in about.

T’ cause o’ this error has t’ do with a particular security update Microsoft put out that wasAhoy!posed t’ patch a vulnerability that could allow someone t’ run malicious code on your computer. On some Windows configurations, that patch caused t’ problem you’re experiencin’. Rather than waste a lot o’ column space on t’ explanation, I’m simply goin’ t’ steer you t’ Microsoft’s Hot Fix for this issue.  Go t’ tinyurl.com/ml2ttpx and accept Microsoft’s terms o’ service. Then download and run t’ Hot Fix and let it do its thin’ and it should fix you starboard up.

One final word o’ advice: I hope you know that Microsoft be endin’ allAhoy!port for Windows XP SP3 on April 8, 2014. This be important for anyone still runnin’ XP (aye, I still have a couple o’ machines runnin’ it!)  “Endin’Ahoy!port” doesn’t mean they stop takin’ yourAhoy!port requests. It means they stop allAhoy!port for that version, which means no more new security updates, patches, or hot fixes. In other words, your OS will no longer be protected against newly discovered threats, and it also means that if you have t’ do a system restore, you may no longer get t’ download all t’ updates that were issued after SP3 came out (which be a lot).  If you’re still on Win XP when tax season be loomin’, please consider upgradin’ your computer, or at least your OS before then!

Q: I thought I have a “SMART PHONE” (iPhone 3GS) but most o’ t’ Notes I had in me yellow note pad disappeared over night. I had been usin’ some o’ t’ stored notes t’ send as e-mails from time t’ time. They all vanished except for 12 o’ me older notes. What happened and where did they go? No help at t’ AT&T store. Called Apple and they won’t do anythin’ unless I pay them doubloons. HELP!!!!!

– Bill W.
Miramar Beach, Florida

A: How much doubloons? Whoops – I mean – aye, I’ll try t’ help! Assumin’ you didn’t actually delete them, this sounds like a simple matter o’ determinin’ where your Notes be bein’ afted up. It seems like a fairly common problem for people t’ enable synchin’ with Outlook, and then discover their notes be “disappearin’” when they’re actually bein’ moved t’ their e-mail program.  So first, on t’ phone, go t’ Settin’s, then click on Notes, and look at “Default Account” t’ see where Notes be bein’ afted up. If they’re bein’ afted up t’ t’ cloud, they should automatically be on any iDevice that you have syncin’ with that iCloud account, and they should come aft on their own. If, as I suspect, you be syncin’ with e-mail, go t’ t’ computer where you sync your phone and look at t’ default e-mail reader.  Look at t’ directory tree, and you should see a tab labeled “Notes” which will contain all your missin’ yellow sheets. If none o’ t’ above works, you might have t’ resort t’ restorin’ your latest aftup. You DO have a recent aftup, don’t you?

Arrrr!  Good stuff thar, me hearties!  Good stuff!

Until next week – good luck ‘n’ happy computin’!

– Geek